What could a wimpy little scrap like you or me learn from UFC champion Ronda Rousey? Plenty.
First of all, after seeing “UFC” all over the headlines, I’ve finally figured out it doesn’t stand for Ultrafast Fieldmouse Carriage or Unscented Fruit Candles. It’s a sport called Ultimate Fighting Championship. (That’s the thing Monica’s boyfriend did on Friends. Remember, when Pete was like, “I’ve conquered the business world. I’ve conquered the intellectual world. Now I must conquer… the physical world,” and then he got the bejeezus beaten out of him?) Rousey’s in the news right now because she keeps knocking people out so fast that her fights are over before even they even start. Shazam.
Personally, I’m not really interested in getting clobbered on the regular. I think the worst fight I could muster would be a purse fight. It’s like a cage fight except you just slap your handbags at each other until one person’s bag spills all over the floor and then you kick their lip gloss across the floor and you win. Then you get a giant fancy belt.
I do, however, think I could learn something from the way Rousey sets goals. She said this to a reporter last week:
“Here’s pretty much the plan: I’m going to beat up [my opponent] Bethe. Then I’m going to take a couple of weeks to rest. And then I’m going to go beat up Miesha. And then I’m going to go to Thailand, or wherever we decide to film [a movie with Mark Wahlberg]. I’m going to prep for a month and start filming for 8-10 weeks, and then go beat up the next chick. That’s pretty much my plan.”
Damn, that’s resolve. She doesn’t envision herself stepping into the cage and then wondering if she’s made a huge mistake and then tapping on the cage door until someone lets her out (which is what I would envision in that scenario, because I don’t really like touching strangers and I’m very afraid of hitting). She pictures herself doing exactly what she set out to do, and then she DOES IT. She even accounts for rest! Genius! Now, I’m not into beating people up, but I do have some stuff I need to get done — so here, let me try:
“Pretty much the plan is: I’m going to start making coffee at home instead of ordering it from that dumbass who yells WHAT? every time I say my name. And then I’m going to sit somewhere — not sure where? maybe somewhere tropical with Matt Damon? probably just my office by myself? — and work on some rhymes and shit. And then I’m gonna sort this stack of mail like a boss. And definitely go to bed by 11. So yeah. That’s the plan.”
Bam! I’ll channel my inner super-fighter, do some intentional thinking, and kick some (metaphorical) ass. What’s YOUR plan? World domination? Whatever the case, let’s all get big fancy belts that say “CHAMPION GOAL-SETTING MOFO.”
* * *
PS: If your plan is to coast through the end of summer without having to make any decisions, you might consider obtaining a whole stack of Penguins with People Problems. This little book comes recommended by sources such as The New York Times, BuzzFeed, Travel + Leisure, BookPage, and Glommable, which called it, “so adorable and true that you just want to share it with everyone you’ve ever met in your life.” Then you can use it for everything:
- Perfectly rectangular gift for easy wrapping
- Thoughtful pick-me-up (as long as the recipient has a sense of humor and is not a child)
- Surprisingly productive book club choice — after all, who *doesn’t* have people problems?