I think we should all throw bras more often.
Let me explain:
My friend Amanda is a rock star. And I don’t just mean, “My friend Amanda is a badass” — although she is — I mean she’s the lead singer of a band. She wears little gold shorts and sings under hot stage lights and stays up way past my bedtime on a regular basis.
Back when she was talking about starting her band, I said, “Well, you’ll know you’ve made it when fans are throwing their underwear at you onstage.” That was my way of saying, “I believe in you, and I think you will be wildly successful, and I hope you remember that the most important thing is not how much money you make or if you even make money at all or if you play to a sold-out crowd or if you get famous but that you are making such awesome music that people feel the need to express their super-enthusiasm in wild and crazy ways. Because if you’re making yourself and other people that happy, then you are a bonafide rock star.”
SO… when the time came for Amanda’s first big show, I elbowed my way up to the front of the crowd, waited for just the right song (I think it was a cover of Candy by Iggy Pop and Kate Pierson), and — thWHAP! — flung my bra onstage. Without missing a note, Amanda grabbed it and hung it on the mic stand, where it stayed for the rest of the show.
Fast-forward a couple of years:
A few days ago, I went to do a book signing party at an art gallery in Atlanta. It was great. Lots of old friends and new friends and Penguins with People Problems fans. And then, while I was happily scribbling my name on the cover page of someone’s book — thWHAP! — I got hit in the head with a bra.
The very same one.
My friend Amanda had saved that tacky zebra-striped thing (don’t judge me; it’s comfortable and smooth under shirts) and brought it to the gallery. “NOW YOU’RE A ROCK STAR!” she yelled when I pulled it off my face.
I think most of the other people at that event thought something very weird had just happened, but I was delighted. It will always be one of the most meaningful moments in this wacky little book experience.
So I say unto you: Go forth and sling a bra at someone — even if only metaphorically. In fact, metaphorically might be better. It’s probably safer in most situations if you don’t launch your underthings at others, especially if you’re at work. I don’t want to get anyone fired. Can you imagine? “Hey Jim, why’d you get canned?” / “Well, I threw a bra at my boss.” / “Damn, Jim, you brainless acorn. That was a poor decision.” What a disaster. Anyway — here’s a badge you can download and share instead of your actual underwear:
So how ’bout everybody find somebody who is rocking it right now and toss them some love? Show them that what they’re doing makes you so happy that you’ve turned into a crazy groupie who throws lingerie.
Maybe one day they’ll throw it back at you.