Unspoken: 15 Things You Can Say Without Making a Sound

I choose my earrings carefully, because I tend to wear the same ones a lot, and — as you know — there’s usually a lot more to that choice than what you see on the surface.

For example, I just bought the most precious little teeny-weeny gold arrows. They go with everything, and they also serve a useful purpose: communication. You can feel confident in knowing the messages I’m sending, all depending on which direction I have the arrows in my ears. You’ll understand what I mean; I won’t have to say a word; and we can both go along our merry ways. Easy for everyone.

I like you.
I like you.

 

I like-like you.
I like-like you.
I don’t like you.
I don’t like you.
Most people are polite enough to act like they like you in public, but deep down, no one would object if you were kidnapped and discreetly disposed of.
Most people are polite enough to act like they like you in public, but deep down, no one would object if you were kidnapped and discreetly disposed of.
I think we’ve met like 9 times, but would you remind me of your name?
I think we’ve met like 9 times, but would you remind me of your name?
I’m replaying the last episode of Downtown Abbey in my head right now.
I’m replaying the last episode of Downtown Abbey in my head right now.
Those boots you’re wearing are super-awesome and I sort of wish they were mine.
Those boots you’re wearing are super-awesome and I sort of wish they were mine.
 You seem like one of those “wolf in sheep’s clothing" types, except not as interesting as a wolf, nor as attractive as a sheep, so maybe just a sociopath in a jacket.
You seem like one of those “wolf in sheep’s clothing” types, except not as interesting as a wolf, nor as attractive as a sheep, so maybe just a sociopath in a jacket.
Shit. I think I left my curling iron on.
Shit. I think I left my curling iron on.
Don’t look right now, but in a minute, glance casually over my right shoulder and tell me if that’s that girl from that thing. You know, that girl. It totally is, isn’t it?
Don’t look right now, but in a minute, glance casually over my right shoulder and tell me if that’s that girl from that thing. You know, that girl. It totally is, isn’t it?
 What the hell is going on with your eyelid?
What the hell is going on with your eyelid?
I think you’re smart.
I think you’re smart.
I think you’re dumb.
I think you’re dumb.
I think you think you’re smart, which is funny, because you’re dumb.
I think you think you’re smart, which is funny, because you’re dumb.
I stopped listening to you 20 minutes ago.
I stopped listening to you 20 minutes ago.

Have a great weekend!

[Update: Just found out WordPress is putting this on Freshly Pressed. How fun! Thank you for sharing, WordPress people. You are too kind.]

107 comments

  1. You’ve been awarded the Sunshine Award. To accept you have to do a few protocol things. Go to my blog at anthrode.wordpress.com for instructions. Congrats. Lucy

  2. It’s exactly the equivalent of my friend and I making up people’s conversations from across the room: no semblance of truth, but funny as heck! Good times!

  3. You have another award! Congrats. It’s the Versatile Blogger Award. I know you hate doing this but truthfully, so do I. To get the instructions go to

    http://wp.me/p2RT1Gg7

    Again. congratulations. I really enjoy your blog. Have a great weekend. Lucy

  4. Brilliant. Love your sense of humor. And don’t you feel just a bit more confident going in to said social interactions?… because you can let your ears do the talking and the rest of you can just relax without fear of judgment…and should the judgment come…well, the arrows will ever so discretely have your back🙂

  5. I think that i so funny, but do you really think people (it has to be at least two) would memorize that? But it is really funny.

  6. I’m allowed to make more than one comment per day on your site, right? I just want to thank you for the laugh. I really need it today! “sociopath in a jacket.” Awesome!🙂

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