6 Little-Known Uses For a Small Bra

So last night, while failing to go to bed early, I happened upon the Victoria’s Secret fashion show on TV. I just caught the end, but from what I could tell, it was basically a bunch of buttcheeks dressed like snowflakes having a holiday parade. Pretty festive, I guess.


As a feminist, I think I’m supposed to be offended by that show, but honestly, I don’t really care. My only beef with Victoria’s Secret is that they don’t carry bras that suit me. Whoever designs their Dream Angel Super Uplift Fantasy Titcatchers seems to think that anyone under a C cup wants their bra to come pre-stuffed with a fistful of padding in each side. Maybe I’m in the mini-boobed minority, but I really don’t like my bras to have a bunch of stuff in them. *I’m* supposed to be the stuff in them.

So I buy my lingerie elsewhere. Sure, the good stuff is expensive, but I’d rather have one fabulous, artfully constructed little glory than three cheap ones that look like flotation devices. Besides, if you really get creative and efficient about it, you can get your money’s worth by using a fancy little bra for many purposes. For example:

* * *

  1. Dish For Small Snacks
It works nicely on a table if you lay the bra cups-up, so it serves as two little bowls. Or if you are having a more upscale gathering, hang it from the chandelier and fill one side with sparkling mints and the other with silver m&ms.

* * * 

2. Cap for Baby on Chilly Days

Works best with twins or friends who like to sit side-by-side.

* * *

3. Eye Patch For Your Pet

Just tuck the other cup up into the hat. Simple.

* * *

4. Slingshot

Look out, Goliath. The high-quality elastic in the straps adds an extra-long slinging distance to any standard weapon.

* * * 

5. Bedside Catch-all

Oops. Got in bed with your jewelry on again? Just drop those little things in these two adorable containers on your bedside table and drift off to dreamland.

* * * 

6. Backpack for Oft-Used Items

Keep the things you need handy! Simply put your arms into the straps backwards, and you’ve got a darling little 90s-era mini-backpack for all your must-haves. You could also fashion this around your waist as a fanny pack or over just one side as a little shoulder bag.

Then, if you divide the cost of the bra by the number of times and ways you use it, it’s practically free.

That’s economics.

(PS: Credit must be given to the lovely Nancy at Midlife MixTape for first coming up with the idea of using a boob-device as a snack dish. We’re going to go lingerie shopping together.)


  1. Don’t forget about those expensive sports bras! We have to get our money’s worth on those too. You know how you can put your phone in a coffee cup to amplify the sound? Just crank up the tunes, pop it in the gaping space otherwise known as your cleavage, and voila-mobile speaker system!

  2. I just remember being a teen (yes, my brain can go back that far) and a friend saying, “Why would I want padded? Eventually, a guy is going to want to cop a feel, and then he’ll know it’s just someone else’s fluff.” Food for thought anyway😉

  3. If someone doesn’t name SOMETHING “Fantasy Titcatchers” after this, there just is no justice in the world. Maybe my next dog. Come here, Fantasy Titcatcher! Come on boy!

  4. OK. You missed one though! Mine being a slightly larger size, also NOT wanting for padding, has been used by my little angels as wings! Oh, Yes! That beautiful white bustier bra I wore with my wedding dress, made the perfect set of wings for my 2/3 year old once upon a time! 😊😂

  5. Oh, that was lovely. I’ll never be a member of the itty bitty team, but it’s always good to know the new game plans.

  6. Genius! I have a large selection of small ‘uns and now with my glue gun at the ready I am ready to create vessels and vases, versatile and plenty. Hurrah for little boobies!🙂

  7. OMG! I don’t know if I could fit all that in mine. I did find a wireless at VS that I liked a lot, but of course that has been discontinued. It is very hard to find a bra when you are built more-or-less like an 11 year old boy.

    Oh and #2? bwahahaha! close friends!? hello? earmuffs!

  8. One time (one very, *very* impressionable time), I stuffed my keys in my bra while I was running out the door to get the mail or something. My daughter noticed this and to this day pulls down my collar at least once a day looking for them.

  9. Love the post. I don’t have boobs anymore– had a double mastectomy because of cancer. All my doctors, from my oncologist to my surgeon were surprised that I didn’t want a reconstruction. My reply was: “are you kidding? I won’t have to wear an uncomfortable bra anymore. I won’t have to lug these knockers around–they bounce when I run, I tip over a lot, my posture stinks because they’re so heavy…blah, blah/” It’s totally freeing. My condolences to all women who have to wear bras. Again, great post. Lucy

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