What do you do when you see a celebrity?
Do you run up and smash your cheek up to theirs and hold out your phone with one arm and take a close-range photo that makes you look like you have six chins and makes the celebrity look like they’ve just had a vision of how they will die?
Or do you play it cool and make a paper airplane out of your business card and fly it into their mouth?
I’m having fun discussing celebrity sightings in an essay over on Loop today. Here’s a little excerpt:
…I have never actually run into Matt Damon, but I have already planned how it will go one day when I do.
The scene: Matt Damon walks up to the bar, across from where I’m enjoying a beer and eating wasabi-covered peanuts and telling jokes that make everyone around me so glad they come to this bar.
What could happen: I walk over to Matt Damon, take his glasses off his face, and trace the bridge of his nose with my index finger while mouthing the names of our future children . . .
Click over to Loop to find out what happens next between Matt Damon and me. Rrrrrowr, chicka-chicka. (No, just kidding. It’s not like that. Matt Damon and I have more of an emotional connection. Philosophical, really. Or intellectual, even.) While you’re there, check out the hilarious essays by all the other writers — you’ll love ’em. Many thanks to Loop for having me on!