Running from the Law: A Story (or Two)
August 13, 2012 § 8 Comments
I’m supposed to tell a fact or story about myself. It’s part of a game. I’ll explain later, but first, here’s the fact/story:
One time, when I was 2, I sneaked up behind a secret service agent on a plane and rubbed banana pudding into his hair. Another time, when I was 16, I plowed a car into a bus in broad daylight for no reason other than that I had (have?) bad spatial awareness. I was not arrested or ticketed either time.
I’m pretty sure the reason I got off the hook when I was 16 is that I made the cops laugh (all six of them, who were required to show up because the bus was a city vehicle) by asking if they were going to cuff me. I really wanted to know; but I think they thought I was flirting. And if they did think I was flirting, then they definitely thought I was an idiot. So, forgoing the ticket was probably a pity thing.
When I was 2, the agent didn’t take me into custody, I suppose, because then he’d have to explain that he’d been taken by surprise by a toddler. I don’t remember anything about this incident; all I know is how the story has been told to me. So, just a guess, but I think we must have made some sort of a silent agreement with our eyes like this:
Agent: I’m going to wipe off this pudding, laugh like I think it’s cute, then turn around. When I turn back around, you’ll be gone, and we’ll never speak of it again.
2-Year-Old Me: I’ll kick your seat, and you’ll like it, Sugar.
Or maybe he didn’t arrest me because he just knew better than to mess with a 2-year-old with pudding hands. I can’t really say.
The End
Take one more step, and I will throw banana pudding at you,
DON’T THINK I WON’T.
* * *
So here’s why I just told that little story: Some readers have been sweet enough to tag the Blink with a few “awards,” and one of the conditions of accepting such niceness is that in saying thanks, you also tell something about yourself. (It’s supposed to be a list of facts or answers to a bunch of questions, but I’m hoping a story counts.) So now you know something about me: I am wily and can escape the law.
Many thanks to these folks. I don’t know them, but I have poked around their websites. They lead very interesting lives.
Katy is a TV producer in LA who has just started her own blog, If You Must Know. You may recognize her from the adventures of her stolen iPhone.
Stacey at More Than Words advocates on behalf of her non-verbal child with great strength and patience and reaches out to parents of similarly challenged children. Wow.
Joy of One Joyous Heart seems to be a genuinely thoughtful person who enjoys writing down wise things and sharing them with others.
Anyway. I’m flattered and grateful. Thanks so much for reading. To keep the love going, check out the links on the sidebar for a few sites that make me chuckle —> Some of those are written by friends of mine. They’re funny people. I would give any of them a humor award.
UPDATE 9/14/12 — More sweetness from the Internet. I have to say thanks:
Loved this post by Unabashed Apparel and totally agree with them that humor is something to be treasured in all forms. Thank you!
Many thanks also to Leigh of Life As Leigh Sees It, a delightful blog that covers all sorts of ground in a fun and conversational way. Here’s her post. Thanks, Leigh!
Grateful. -ML
Congrats! What a cool award and I loved you post. We are flying today. I will make sure there isn’t any banana pudding to be found.
Oh lordy! Dry snacks only, Farrah… dry snacks only!
Thank you.
Thank YOU. And good luck getting your girl off to college!
I love all your adventures, and appreciate so much that you seem to have the ‘Find the Humor – So You Don’t End Up Crying In The Corner’ perspective in life that I try to hard to maintain. I laugh so hard at your posts that the guy in the office next to me stops by to make sure I’m not choking on something.
Since you don’t know her personally, One JOYous Heart is, I’m proud to say, a real-life personal friend and mentor to me, and you’ve hit it on the head. It’d be easy to assume from her advice, insight and style that she’s pristine, unapproachable, and maybe even a little stuffy, but I want to assure you that, (1) she walks what she talks — she DEFINES the word ‘grace’ – except, of course, if you put a coffee in her hand, in which case she will most certainly wear it; (2) she has acquired her wisdom the hard way, suffering some pretty severe knocks at the hands of herself and others, and only wants to spare those she loves from having to experience the pain that she has; and (3) she loves your blogs. I have a feeling that the three of us would spend significant amounts of time at my kitchen table. Joy would bartend — she makes a killer cosmo!
Oh, you all are too kind!
You should ham up the fake choking for the guy in the office next door… give him a little excitement.
I will totally take you up on that cosmo!
How did your parents get tickets on Air Force One? I’ve been trying for years.
Haaaa… Believe me, I have many questions about this story, too. Here’s what I know from the family legend: It was my mom with me on a flight either to or from DC. It was during the time when my dad was doing some kind of medical service with the military, but he was not with us on the flight.
My questions: Why was I, a 2-year-old, free to roam about the plane? What was my mom doing? (According to the story, I was able to reach the back of this man’s head by standing on a seat.) Also: What airline served banana pudding? And do they still? And if so, I would like to fly everywhere that airline goes.