February 23, 2015 § 12 Comments
What was he thinking?
What were they thinking?
(Click play to hear audio.)
February 10, 2015 § 9 Comments
You know how it’s kind of funny when you ask your phone strange questions and Siri answers? Or when you speak into a sound-altering app just to hear words like “I like monkey riblets for breakfast” come back at you in a robot voice?
I am delighted to let you know that you can now have that experience on paper. Here’s how:
Penguins with People Problems is officially now available for pre-order. Pub date is June 2, which means you can’t actually get it in your hands before then, but you can place an early order now. Why do pre-orders matter? Well, I’ll let this author tell you, because I think Tony Earley did a nice job of explaining it. The point is: Lots of pre-orders mean a stronger opening week for the book, and that’s a really good thing.
It’s very easy. You can pre-order a book anywhere you normally buy books. I might suggest one of these ways:
1. Walk into your local real-live bookstore and tell a human bookseller you want to pre-order it. Your bookstore is there to serve your community and if you want it to stay open — if you want to live in a place that has a bookstore — you gotta buy your books there. So do it, and tell your booksellers I said hi. (Not sure where the nearest store is? Go to IndieBound.org and they’ll find it for you!) –>
2. If you don’t have a local bookstore, you can borrow this one: Parnassus Books in Nashville. The best part is, I actually work in this awesome little indie shop, so any pre-orders that come through here will be physically touched by me! I MIGHT LICK YOUR BOOK! Just kidding, I would never lick a book. But I will very happily autograph it and inscribe it in any way you like, at no additional charge.
That’s right, I said any way you like. You want your name in it? I’ll personalize it. You want someone else’s name? I’ll inscribe it as a gift and think up something nice to say. You want 10 little smiley faces? You got it. You want a dirty limerick about corn? Try me. I will write anything you want me to write, in as many books as you want.
All you have to do is write your request in the “comments” section at checkout, like this:
Think you might want a bunch of copies as a fun summer gift to your book club or to play book-Jenga with? In that case, just email email@example.com and ask. Sometimes, if a book is being ordered in bulk, you can get a nice little discount.
You can also pre-order from the links here, and that’s OK, too — whatever floats your merry little boat:
The point is: If you like to look at the world through penguin-colored glasses, or if you know someone who might, spread the word! (But if you hate penguins who go to work and have friends and wear outfits and embarrass themselves, then fine. I’ll be back to posting weather reports soon.)
And if you’re reading this, you were probably around when this whole goofy penguin thing started. This is happening because of you. Thank you.
January 15, 2015 § 4 Comments
I decided to do it again.
If you like upscale lifestyle magazines that fetishize antiques, quirky artisanal goods, and lavishly casual entertaining (no judgment here — I subscribe to several), then Dagger & Dill is for you:
- A party starring pickles, pickles, and more pickles
- Easy-to-follow recipes for jarred snow cocktails
- Ideas for living with pine cones
- Must-have items for every stylish home and individual
- Much more
- Well, maybe just a little more
January 9, 2015 § 7 Comments
Balance. Not my forte. (See also: “coordination” and “grace”)
Truth: I live in fear of being pulled over at a DUI checkpoint, because even if I’m stone-cold sober at noon on a Monday, if you draw a straight line on the ground, I can’t follow it perfectly. I broke my arm once trying to walk and carry a load of laundry at the same time. Another time, I broke my ankle while trying to walk down a sidewalk and tell a joke. Most recently, I was wearing my backpack “briefcase” in an airport, and the straps both spontaneously broke, and instead of wobbling a bit when my bag fell off my back, I fell all the way over. Like, on my face. On the airport floor. There is not enough Purell in the world, I tell you.
Anyway. Author Susie Schnall writes fiction about people who have a lot to balance, and in the process of writing her books, she interviews people who live the types of situations she writes about. I was delighted to answer her questions and thank her for including me in the conversation:
By the way, the type of “balance” she’s talking about here is the kind involving career, creativity, and parenting. So that’s what this interview focuses on. But obviously “balance” is an issue that comes up for any multi-dimensional human being, whether you’re balancing work/family, cats/dogs, normal life/spy life, desire to have friends/desire to hole up in a cave and eat cheese 24 hours a day, whatever. We only get one life, and we have to make choices as to how we spend the hours in it; but maybe if we help each other out, we can all have a shot at doing more of the stuff we care about.
So — check it out if you like. Thanks! [Go there now –>]
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January 8, 2015 § 18 Comments
December 8, 2014 § 281 Comments
Straight from the ad pages of your favorite magazines, here’s your guide to being a girl in December. Take notes.
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1. Stay cozy. Wear a baby.
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2. Flaunt your complexity.
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3. Represent feminine softness in a hard masculine world.
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4. If you’re truly hot, you won’t get cold.
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5. Sit like this while waiting for the valet at the end of a holiday party.
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6. If you insist on being serious, you must be 100% serious at all times.
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7. Live every moment like a dream sequence.
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8. Do a sports thing. That’s funny.
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9. Wear makeup, like a deviant.
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10. Ignore the voice of reason.
Pants are for suckers. Merry Christmas.
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